We do real...

It's 4:15 am and Gabriella is shouting like crazy enjoying life. While she's singing her lungs out my head can't stop thinking how life can be so interesting. I've been thinking lately how we live in a world that wants us to live a perfect life. And if you are not living or growing the standard of life then the world will categorized you. I have a son that is turning  5 years old very soon.

I remembered when he was a baby he was not the type of standard baby in Norway because he was little. The pediatrician was worried that he wasn't growing like a "normal" baby in Norway will grow (HUGE). Then as he kept growing he didn't crawl as he "should".  I think he did when he was 11 months just a few times and then he started walking when he turned 1 year old. That was not good because he "should" crawl more. Then later on when he was 2 years old he couldn't speak at all, well the reason was because I spoke to him in spanish and Morten my husband spoke to him in norwegian so it took a while for him to started talking. He wasn't good enough for the standard of this world. When he turned 4 years old he went to an appointment at the doctor for his 4 years old appointment. They did some test and Emilio need it to draw some things and write at least the letter of his name. Well that day he didn't want to follow what the doctor was saying to him and didn't wanted to stay still so the doc told me that he was immature for his age. He was not doing what he should be doing, "well as a perfect kid in this world. Because he didn't draw some things, he couldn't say some words that he "should've said, etc...
On the other side he is so smart, funny, kind, loving, speaking almost 3 languages- 2 fluently. He can be challenging many times but who is perfect in this world and yes he can sit still and behave well too.

Gabriella is my beautiful 2 years old daughter and she was born blind.











When she was 8 months we found out that she wasn't only blind, she was diagnosed with Mowat Wilson Syndrome. It is a very rare syndrome and is even more rare to be blind having that diagnosed. That in itself is super duper challenging to fulfill her "purpose" in this world, I mean she is not in the "NORMAL" list at all as the world would say.
If you search the word normal it means- conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
Yes exactly she is not a "standard" girl in this world nor EXPECTED.

I was not long ago in a Mowat Wilson Syndrome Foundation Conference in the USA. It was very good meeting other parents that are standing in the same situation. At the same time it was very challenging hearing the things that this kids can experience. It felt like they were saying how the future of Gabriella was going to be. Sitting there getting all the information was a good thing I'm not saying anything against it, on the other hand it was like they were reading my daughters future. It was like a list of things our child can experience just because she have a STAMP in her "forehead" that says child with Mowat Wilson Syndrome, a beautiful girl with special needs. I was confused, heart broken , I started thinking of Gabriella in a different way of like how crappy her life is and is going to be in the future. My heart was COMPLETELY broken if I'm gonna be honest. Looking at the older kids and how the parents were struggling was very challenging to see. I went back home, hold Gabriella and I couldn't smile at her the same way I use too. I saw her in a different way, in a very disappointing way. I  actually wasn't that excited to see her again because I felt that I knew how miserable her life and my life was gonna be in the future since we got all the information of what could happen in her life. Of course they said that it wasn't 100% the chances that they get everything but even thou there was a possibility. It was like imagine you were giving birth and the doctor gave you a list of things that might happened to your child as they grow up and I'm talking about just sickness and negative things. I know that there is some of you that actually have experienced that.(I hope you know what I mean) that was how it was for me in the conference.  A few days after we came home from the Conference i was down, sad, confused, didn't want to be with my daughter.  I put some worship music on. I'm a follower of Jesus and I don't know how my life would've been without Him seriously. I put on the new album of Hillsong "No other name" and just listening to the first song "This I Believe", I started crying cuz I started declaring that song over Gabriella's life as I closed my eyes and started singing:
 
'I believe in God our Father
I believe in Christ the SonI believe in the Holy Spirit
Our God is three in one
I believe in the resurrection
That we will rise again

For I believe in the name of Jesus

While I was singing the chorus i saw in my mind myself holding Gabriella in my arms with Morten and Emilio on our side singing and walking and looking at the different season in life declaring that song over and over. That the doctors, specialist, genetics can say things that may happen to Gabriella but we believe in God our father that have designed a life full of purpose for her, that knows her destiny, we believe in Christ the son that he went to the cross and died for us and by his wound we are healed, we believe in the Holy Spirit that whenever we are doubting, sad, confused he empowered us to keep going giving us the conviction that there is no other name to believe than Jesus.

In The Message Bible in Psalms 139:13-16 says:
"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.

Like David wrote on Psalms God have shaped us, formed us and know all the stages of our lives. And as I said before the world wants us to live a "standard" life, an usual life, an ordinary life to "FIT IN" but seriously who is perfect in this world. Not even the people that looks perfect are satisfy with themselves. Not even people that are talented thinks that they are good enough. Maybe because we don't feel that we accomplish with the worlds standard which is that perfect universe that doesn't really exist and I think many people are fighting for it and then they stop dreaming because they weren't good enough!
Even parents pressuring the kids to be "perfect", to reach even the milestones before they should, to be the best sport player, singer, dancer, a genius, etc... We are so busy thinking that our kids and family need to be the best because life is full of competition that we forget the most important thing in their lives that is LOVE.

To love them in every season even if they are not what you expect them to be, in every moment, in every sickness, even if they are in the special list like my daughter.

Life is full of challenges and is up to us to choose how do you want to live.
I got my vision of life back because of my Gabriella and that's another story.
We are all different in this world and we all have different purpose in lives.
While I was singing the song, God reminded me again that is all about love. And that's why I've been CHOSEN to be Gabriella's mom to love her with my everything. It's all about changing your perspective of life. Some people may see us like poor you with a girl that is blind, a girl that is disable, that doesn't sleep much and many other things that I don't need to mention... if you see it like an ordinary life, yes I understand, but my family is not ordinary is extraordinary, because we see life in a different way, our eyes have been opened, our hearts have been change. Our world is bigger than before. Yes in your eyes we have a girl with special needs, but in our eyes we have a girl that is able to change the history and the mindset of this world :-)